


Fear And Bravery Are Not Mutually Exclusive

by electrictoes



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-06
Updated: 2010-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrictoes/pseuds/electrictoes
Summary: Ianto Jones has been brought up not to show weakness.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Kudos: 1





	Fear And Bravery Are Not Mutually Exclusive

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to Livejournal fandom_fridays. Prompt: "I am my father's daughter (/son). I am not afraid of anything."

Jack leant back against the cell wall and watched Ianto. He was standing near the door, his eyes closed, muttering something under his breath. This was Ianto’s first time in the field since the cannibals and they had already been captured. Jack could tell, without asking, that he was terrified, but he asked all the same.

“Ianto,” he said, and watched as Ianto turned, his eyes a little wide, to look at Jack. “Are you scared?” He said, not quite reassuringly, but not tauntingly either. They all needed to know where they stood.

“No,” Ianto scoffed, and turned back to the door.

Jack would have been shocked if he believed that to be true. It would be terrifying for anyone, never mind someone as inexperienced in field work as Ianto was. Hell, even Jack was a little worried. The aliens who had captured them were more than capable of torture; they had seen the bodies as they were dragged through the warehouse and they it left very little to the imagination.

He watched Ianto for a little longer. Jack couldn’t make out what he was saying, but it seemed to be some sort of mantra, though it was obviously doing nothing to calm him. He was muttering faster each time and, as they heard screams coming from down the corridor, he began to pace more frantically.

“It’s okay to be afraid, Ianto,” he said softly.

Ianto spun on his heel. “No,” he snapped. “No Jack, it’s not okay to be afraid. It’s never okay to be afraid.”

Jack pushed himself away from the wall and walked over to Ianto, grasping him firmly by his shoulders. He could feel Ianto shake.

Ianto’s voice cracked as he spoke. “I’m my father’s son,” he said, still shaking, “I am not afraid of anything.”

Jack realised then what Ianto had been repeating to himself and he was quick to pull the younger man into an embrace.

“There’s no shame in fear,” he said.

Ianto didn’t respond. He didn’t even lift his arms, just let Jack hold him.

The screaming in the corridor was getting louder and Jack pulled Ianto away from the door. They sat against the far wall together, Jack looking at Ianto, waiting for him to speak.

“My father,” he said eventually, “Saw fear as a weakness.”

“Your father was an idiot.”

Ianto didn’t look offended at Jack’s response. He sighed.

“I wasn’t allowed to be scared,” he said quietly, “Monsters under the bed, school bullies, heights, the dark...” He shrugged. “I’m my father’s son; I don’t need to be scared.”

Jack laid a hand on Ianto’s knee and gently squeezed it. “Most people who say they are their father’s son say it because they’re proud,” Jack told him. “I’m my father’s son. Sometimes I get scared, Ianto. Sometimes it’s all too much. I’d think less of you if nothing frightened you.”

Again, Ianto was silent. Jack ploughed on.

“You’ve been braver than men I’ve seen in war,” Jack said, “Braver than I used to be. I was a coward for so long...” He paused, “You’ve been through a lot. Monsters under the bed are real possibility in our world. It’s alright to be scared.”

“You ever had a monster under your bed?” Ianto asked, trying to change the subject.

“I’ve had a few in it,” Jack laughed. It lightened the mood, but only for a few seconds.

“Do you think they’ve found us yet?”

Jack glanced at his watch. “If they haven’t yet, it won’t be much longer.”

At least they had the reassurance that the others were coming. That was something that Jack could use to reassure Ianto, however proud he felt the need to be. There would be a rescue; it was just a case of waiting and trying to ignore the screams of the tortured. Jack had played this waiting game before; when he was with the Time Agency, when he had travelled with the Doctor, working for Torchwood. He’d spent so many hours waiting for a rescue. He tried not to think about the years he’d spent waiting for help that was never going to come.

“You said you get scared,” Ianto said. He was barely looking at Jack, just glancing upwards, looking more at the wall behind Jack than Jack himself. “What has a man like you got to be scared of?”

Jack looked at him in surprise. He knew that Ianto was observant, but that was more than he had expected. “A man like me?”

Ianto nodded. “You’ve been to war and you’ve survived,” he said, “You’ve survived lots of things that would have killed other people. You don’t form attachments, you have no problem standing on roofs, you know exactly how to defend yourself. What can you be scared of?”

Jack looked at the floor, avoiding Ianto’s eye. “Lots of things,” he admitted. “I form attachments more easily than you think, and every time I see you or Owen or Gwen or Toshiko in danger, I get scared.” He didn’t look up as he continued, but he could imagine the look of disbelief on Ianto’s face. “I’ve been waiting for something for a long time and I get scared some days that it won’t ever come.”

“What sort of something?” Ianto asked.

“Nothing, really,” Jack said. He stood up and walked the four steps to the other side of the cell. He tried his vortex manipulator on the door to no avail. He had tried it when they’d first been thrown in, but it hadn’t worked. Still, the screaming had stopped and it was quiet in the corridor, if it worked they would be able to make an escape, and if it didn’t... well, they would be looking for new victims soon, and each time the screaming had started it seemed to be closer than before.

The vortex manipulator did nothing to open the door, though Jack persevered, trying every setting he could think of, even the ones that hadn’t worked in years. He wanted to get them both out of there before Ianto’s nerves got worse, or before Jack confessed something he would later regret.

“Jack.”

Jack turned to look at Ianto. He hadn’t moved since Jack had got up.

“You doing okay?” Jack asked. Ianto looked, if possible, paler than he had before.

“I’m... a little scared.”

Jack nodded. “I’ll get you out of here, I promise.”

“Don’t,” Ianto said. He hesitated before going on. “It’s worse when it’s quiet. When there’s someone screaming, they’re not after me, but when the screaming stops...” He dropped his head. “How selfish is that?”

Jack sat next to Ianto again, putting the hand back on his knee. “It’s normal,” he said. “Your first time in a prison cell-”

“It’s not my first time,” Ianto said, cutting him off. “There was less screaming last time though.”

“Ah, yes,” said Jack, giving Ianto a small smile. “Your criminal past.”

“My criminal past,” Ianto said, then looked up at Jack. “I’m my father’s son.”

“Teenage rebellion?”

Ianto nodded. “I think it’s ongoing,” he waved a hand. “This. Torchwood. The things I’ve done...”

“Better men than you would have done worse, Ianto.”

“My father still wouldn’t approve,” Ianto said with a shrug. “My weaknesses. The fear... scared of being turned into a machine, scared of not getting Lisa out, of not saving her. Fear of you finding out too soon, or... too late. Scared that she’d kill me, that you would.”

“None of those things show weakness.”

“Crying,” Ianto continued. “Real men don’t cry,” he said bitterly. It was obvious he was repeating words that he had been told before. Jack said nothing, and Ianto met his eye. “You.”

“Me?” Jack asked, puzzled.

“My weaknesses.”

“Me?” Jack repeated.

“You,” Ianto nodded.


End file.
